7 Deadly Sins
by monsterundermybed
Summary: Over the course of five years Wally and Dick drifted apart. One moment changes everything and they are thrusted into a confusing and painful relationship made of sin.
1. Greed

They were the only two left on the roof top, everyone had said their goodbyes and dispersed once Roy had left. Except for the two of them. Wally watched as Dick stepped toward the edge of the building, ready to leave, but then turned around.

"You know there are still spots for you two on the team."

Wally's face hardened, "Dick, you know why we can't go back." He nodded in response and had Wally not been his best friend for years he would not see the look on the face that implied he had so much more to say that he was holding back. Wally wondered if he could even consider Dick his best friend anymore. The last time he saw Dick was months ago, for a few brief moments, to discuss a plan he and Kaldur had come up with. Tonight was the first time in a long time since he ever spoke to the grown boy.

It almost saddened Wally how much Dick had grown. He wasn't the same small, cackling, trolling brat he used to be. He was taller, stronger, and much more serious. It never occurred to Wally that at some point Dick had to grow up; he thought they both would be young forever. Evidently that was not the case. They both grew up and, consequently, grew apart somehow.

And that was the last thing Wally had ever wanted to happen, but it was too late to fix it now.

"I know why you don't _want_ to come back, but will you think about it? We could use you." Dick's voice was soft, almost pleading, but Wally was sure that was just his imagination.

"I can't."

"You love running. You said that you felt naked outside the suit, and now you—"

"I can't come back," Wally yelled, cutting Dick off. The masked man closed his mouth, face stern.

"Fine, I won't ask again." For a moment Wally wants to give in, to promise Dick he'll come back but then he shakes his head. He can't do it. He has a new life now. He has Artemis and his dog, Brucely, and he had college to worry about and Vietnamese Language paper to work on. He had a new, busy life that he _chose_ to live. It was easy to ignore the small ache he'd get in his chest, longing to put on the suit and run, by diving deep into his essays and homework and thesis papers. His hero gig was a part of an old life. He had a new one now, he had to forget the past and move on.

But looking at Dick in his uniform made the ache come back and there was nothing he could focus his mind on to get rid of it. For a moment Wally was reminded of the boy he used to be best friends with and how they'd run off into battle together, sometimes with Dick on his back. He remembered how in sync they used to be, finishing each other sentences and using the other to help take the bad guy down. And then he remembered more, like movie nights with the team in the cave, or going to the beach after a long day of school. The man standing before him reminded him of all that and more and in that moment he wanted it all again, despite how he knew he could never go back to it.

So when Wally crossed the rooftop and took Dick's face in his hands he blamed it all on that stupid ache inside his chest that he needed to shut up.

Dick's lips were chapped and remained closed. Wally took the bottom lip into his mouth and sucked on it, finally gaining a response from the hero.

"But Artemis—" Wally sharply nipped Dick's lower lip, shutting him up. Strong hands pushed Wally away, causing the red head to stumble backwards.

"It's Valentine's Day, and Artemis—" Dick cut himself off but Wally knew exactly what he was trying to say. Wally shouldn't have done it, shouldn't have kissed Dick like that. Not when he was in a relationship with Artemis. Not on Valentine's Day. But it had silenced the aching in his chest and made Wally's blood hot. It calmed him. He needed calm.

Whoever initiated the next kiss, they don't know, but it's happening and it's slow and it's needy and it made the blood in Wally's veins burn with want. Their lips move against each other until Wally's lungs are screaming for air, and even then he keeps kissing Dick until his mind goes fuzzy. They broke apart, panting, refusing to look anywhere but at the other. After a short moment Dick mumbled his good bye and grappling hooked from one roof top to the next.

On his way home Wally bought roses for Artemis.

* * *

Wally didn't see Dick until two weeks later. He had meant to come over and discuss the plan in further detail with the couple but Artemis was at the library, working on her thesis paper that was due in four days. Wally let Dick inside and offered him a drink. After a bit of small talk and Dick telling Wally the gist of the plan (he'd go into further detail when Artemis got home) they sat in silence for a moment.

Wally had felt guilty for not feeling guilty about kissing Dick. He knew it was wrong and that it was cheating and he shouldn't have done it but it soothed an itch and ache that had been building up inside him. Ever since the night on the rooftop he'd catch his mind wandering off, thinking about it. Thinking about Dick. Which helped him get a B minus on his lit paper.

Since then the ache grew faster, needier. It dug a hole in chest that got deeper and deeper every day. Just having Dick there, sitting next to him on the couch as Brucely napped at their feet, made the ache grow more.

Wally's phone buzzed in his pocket, interrupting the silence that had fallen between the two. He managed to pull it out and looked at the caller ID. It was Artemis.

"Hello?" He answered. On the other end he could hear two female voices speaking in the back ground.

_"Wally, I'm going to be late coming home, couple of classmates are dragging me out for drinks." _

"Don't stay out too long, okay?"

"_I can handle myself."_

"I know you can."

_"I'll see you later tonight."_ And then she hung up. Wally didn't bother to tell her that Dick was there, or that they had plans to discuss. He didn't know why he didn't tell her.

"Artemis went out with some friends, she'll be home later," Wally told Dick, who was leaning down to scratch Brucely behind his ears. Wally could hear the faint thump of the bulldog's tail hitting the couch as it wagged.

Minutes later Wally found himself in a whirlwind of Dick's lips on his skin and clothes quickly being shed. At some point they had managed to make it to the bedroom, but not before both of their clothes had been entirely removed, their naked chests pressed against each other as they fumbled towards the bed.

It didn't take long before Dick was moaning and panting beneath him. His cheeks were flushed, legs spread wide as Wally rubbed their cocks against each other. Dick was the first to come, Wally following shortly after. He rolled off Dick and laid next to him. For a moment they caught their breath, letting it even out until it was normal again. They didn't say anything to each other as they both redressed, the quiet only causing the ache in Wally's chest to pang with a small sense of guilt.

Dick left through the bedroom window that night as Artemis came through the front door. The aching hole in his chest deepened, if only a little. He ignored it as he greeted Artemis with a smile and chaste kiss to the cheek.

From then on whenever Artemis wasn't home and Dick was over the night would end in drying sweat and unsaid guilt on both parts. For Wally, the aching hole in chest would get just a little bit wider, and a little bit deeper.

As the months dragged on the pang of guilt he'd occasionally get soon turned into a pang of want and regret. Most days Wally would ignore it and continue on with washing dishes or writing papers or just playing fetch with Brucely.

Sometimes Wally would stare off into space and wonder just why the hell he kept doing this, whatever it was, with Dick when he had Artemis. The girl he had been dating for five years. They lived together for Christ's sake! And then there he was, fucking _their_ friend in _their_ bed. He hated himself for it—Artemis didn't deserve that, she deserved better. Someone who wouldn't stab her in the back while she was risking her life, fraternizing with the enemy. He wanted to stop, to call it off with Dick, but every time he saw his best friend he smiled and felt the ache in his chest disappear. He felt bitter and hated himself more when he thought that Artemis could never make that ache go away. She could have, if he let her. But he let Dick do it instead, because being with Dick was like being back out on the field. It was dangerous and risky and it reminded him of the good days with the old team, before things started going further and further downhill. Dick was his anchor.

* * *

Artemis had been gone for three months. Three months by himself with just Brucely and the sound of the television to keep him company. He had been having the fling with Dick for five months by now and that night as the first night Wally had ever actually penetrated Dick.

It was slow. A lot slower than what they were used to. Wally made sure Dick was ready before he entered him, and even then he moved slowly inside his lover. If you could call him that.

Dick's fingers dug into the skin on Wally's shoulders. The red head kissed Dick's cheeks, but found them wet as his lips brushed against them.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his voice tender. Dick nodded and took a moment to breathe before he responded, "Just hurts is all."

Wally slowed down to a stop, "Tell me when it stops hurting," he murmured.

He continued to kiss Dick's cheeks, to comfort and distract him. Eventually Dick let out a shaky breathe, "Move."

That night Dick slept over for the first time. Wally found himself staring up at the dark ceiling as Dick's head rested on Wally's bicep, Dick's chest pressed against his side. Wally could feel Dick's pulse, feel the faint pat-pat of his heart beating slowly. He swore he could hear it, too. He wanted to hear it. He wanted to stay like that, with Dick asleep next to him, but he knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn't want that.

He had a different life, one with Artemis and Brucely and going to Stanford. He couldn't continue doing this with Dick, sooner or later he would have to call it off so he could go back to his normal life. His life before late nights with Dick and the pang of guilt he'd always feel the morning after.

But Dick had always been there for him, even when he didn't want him to be. Dick helped calm the aching in his chest, he filled the hole in Wally's chest, if only momentarily, whenever he was around. Wally knew Dick was what he needed and wanted, but not something that he could have. Wally knew he couldn't give Dick what he needed, even if he wanted it too. He couldn't love Dick like this, even if he already did.

* * *

At first Wally just wanted Dick to fuck him, but then he got greedy. He wanted Dick to love him.


	2. Gluttony

Dick knew he should have pushed Wally away again. He knew that it was wrong and it was cheating and Artemis was his friend and Wally's girlfriend. He couldn't betray her like this, except he did. He let Wally kiss him and he even kissed back, with a fiery passion he had been holding in for years. He had always been on the side lines, watching Wally with Artemis since New Years, nearly five years ago.

Zatanna played along with the words he would make up and would even get snarky with him, but it wasn't the same. Her hair was too dark, her eyes too blue. She couldn't eat like a pig and then some. She couldn't run at the speed of light or vibrate her molecules, even if it only ended in a bloody nose.

Barbara had the red hair, sure, but her eyes were still too blue and she was lacking freckles and not what Dick was looking for, but the person he wanted was already gone. He had to give up sooner or later. And he did. Eventually. But all his longing and want came rushing back with the simple touch of Wally's lips against his and Dick's concerns about Artemis and the past melted away once he felt Wally's tongue against his own.

He should have pushed him away, punched him, yelled at him. But he didn't. He couldn't bring himself to do it. He was too wrapped up in finally having Wally in his grasp. They spent too much time apart, even as friends. Just friends. Dick had craved for this since before they drifted apart, since before Wally got with Artemis, before they even met her. Dick wanted to be mad at her, for swooping in and taking Wally, but he couldn't be. Wally wasn't his to begin with. They were just friends.

Something inside Dick awoke when Wally kissed him. It was hungry; having been starved from the moment Dick realized he had feelings for Wally years ago. Dick was caught up in a moment he didn't want to end. But it did, and he was shot back down to reality. Wally had a different life without him and no matter what the look on the red head's face conveyed, whether it be regret or guilt or even want, Dick couldn't let it happened again.

"I'll see you around," Dick mumbled before taking off, using his grappling hook to swing to a different roof top. Once he was sure he was out of sight and there was no way Wally could find him, he came to a stop. He ran a hand through his hair, letting out a shaky breath. Tonight had been a mistake. He shouldn't have let Wally kiss him, shouldn't have kissed him _back_. It was wrong. Wally didn't even mean it, he hadn't been thinking. Wally never thought most things through. He was impulsive. Dick didn't know why Wally did it he just knew that he had not meant it. At all. It was a mistake.

With that in mind he was able to fall asleep that night, despite the hunger that started to grow inside his chest again.

* * *

Two weeks later Dick finally stopped procrastinating and went over to Wally and Artemis' place to discuss the plan they had all come up with. He was there on business, that's it. Nothing else would happen. They'd discuss the details of the plan and then he'd leave. He'd ignore the numbing hunger inside his chest, speak to them about the plan, then leave. Simple as that.

Or it was supposed to be that simple, except Artemis wasn't home. Dick realized he probably should have called first, to make sure that they were both home, but he didn't. He was in such a rush for the night to be over he didn't even bother.

He sat with Wally on the couch, with Brucely at their feet. Dick liked Brucely. He was calm yet playful, but he mainly slept a lot. He served as a nice distraction until Artemis came home. A distraction from the not-so-numb-anymore hunger inside his chest. In fact, the hunger seemed to be on fire, burning. As if simply being in Wally's presence made it flare up in a blaze.

Wally's phone went off, suddenly breaking the tension between them, drawing Dick's attention away from the . Dick listened to Wally's half of the conversation. By the sounds of it, Artemis wasn't coming home.

"Artemis went out with some friends, she'll be home later."

He knew it.

Dick didn't bother to ask why Wally didn't tell her he was there, or that they had plans to discuss.

He didn't know who went for it first, but he convinced himself that it was him. Not Wally. Wally couldn't possibly want it as much as he did. He convinced himself that he was just forcing himself on Wally and he was letting him do it because hey—hormones or whatever. It may have crossed his mind that Wally wanted it too, but he scolded himself for thinking that way. Wally had Artemis.

It went a lot further than he had intended but in the moment he didn't care. For just a moment Wally's hands and eyes and attention were on him. For just a moment Wally was his. And after that moment was over he couldn't bring himself to say anything. Wally didn't say anything either. Probably from guilt, or from shame. Perhaps both.

They both redressed in silence. Dick heard the front door open as he jumped from the bedroom window, soundlessly, onto the ground beneath it.

Dick went home that night with a different feeling inside his chest. It wasn't hungry, although that feeling was still there. It was more like a hole. A hole that knew last night wouldn't mean the same to him as it did to Dick. For Dick it meant finally being able to act out on six years of pent of feelings and want. For Dick it meant feeling like they could be best friends again. It felt like things were back to how they used to be and that the next day he'd wake up, go the cave and see Wally dressed in a red and yellow uniform.

But Dick that was just wishful thinking. Wally grew up. He grew out of the suit and the hero gig. He wouldn't come back. Not permanently. Things were different now and he'd just have to accept that they could never go back to the way they used to be, no matter if they spent one night together or more. Things were new. Different.

They could never go back to when things were better, simpler. Happier.

* * *

Dick didn't know why he didn't call their fling off. He should have. It'd be best for the three of them if he called it off. He and Wally would no longer be stabbing Artemis in the back while she was off with the enemy, risking her life. He could find other ways to silence the hunger in his chest that didn't include Wally. He had put up with it for six years, he could deal with it again until he moved on and got over the red head instead of coming back nearly every week for more. The brief silence during his nightly visits did nothing to prevent the aching hunger from growing in the morning.

But he couldn't stop. When he was with Wally during those nights he had a glimpse of who he used to be—who they both used to be, and, in retrospect, it was bittersweet. He missed his best friend who'd always be shoving food into his mouth, or laughing that loud laugh of his or just smiling that bright, toothy smile of his. He missed his best friend who wouldn't be afraid to get snarky with him, or would be there in a flash just to comfort him. He missed his best friend who would snap at him for suddenly disappearing during missions, which merely showed that he actually cared about him. He always cared. He was always afraid that something might have happened to Dick and he wouldn't know, because he just up and disappeared. And then it seemed like the old Wally just up and disappeared, just like how Dick used to, and now he understood why Wally hated it so much.

He kept going back night after night because he missed Wally, old or new. He just wanted his best friend back, even if they were just friends, not lovers.

* * *

Dick had thought that spending nights like that with Wally would somehow help get over his feelings. They didn't. He knew that it wouldn't help. Just make them more apparent. He found himself falling back in love (had he ever really fallen out of love?) with the man as he whispered comforting words into his ear while Dick tried adjusting to the feeling of being full. He didn't want to admit it, or show it, but he was overwhelmed with feelings. He loved Wally and knew that the red head could never return the feelings. He could never love Dick. It was too much to ask, Wally was already doing this for him.

"Are you okay?" Wally's voice was soft, tender, and Dick found himself washed with a wave of emotions. He hadn't realized he was crying until Wally had said something. He took in a shaky breath, then slowly let it out.

"Just hurts is all," He partly lied. Wally merely thought he was talking physically. Wally's movements came to a stop. Dick felt the red head's lips brush against his earlobe, "Tell me when it stops hurting."

Dick wished it would.

He felt Wally's lips brush against his cheeks, temple, forehead and chin, distracting him from the pain and discomfort. For Dick it only made things worse because all he could think of was how it seemed like Wally was back to his old self, caring and comforting when need be, not the cold and hard person he had grown up to be.

"Move," Dick managed to choke out. And Wally did just that. He continued to move slowly, cautious not to hurt Dick. He kissed Dick more that night then he had during any of their previous nights together combined. It felt like the starving sensation inside of Dick could finally go away but he still wanted more. He wanted Wally to mean it; he wanted Wally to be able to say three words. But Dick knew he couldn't, so he took as much as he could and then some.


	3. Envy

Dick had grown to hate himself. He hated that he was betraying Artemis, he hated that he felt guilty about it but never stopped. He hated that he pushed himself onto Wally, he hated that Wally let Dick use him. He hated that despite how much he'd convince himself that he'd never go back to Wally he did anyways.

He always went back to him because he knew he couldn't have him any other way. No matter how much Dick loved him it could never make Wally love him back. That's not how it worked. Wally was merely letting Dick use him so he could feel better, because that's what best friends do; they pick you up and console you.

He knew he needed to stop. He had to call it off, to stop visiting Wally in the middle of the night. He needed to stop staying over whenever he'd visit. It wasn't fair to any of them, especially Artemis.

Dick couldn't help but be jealous of Artemis. She had exactly what he wanted; Wally. Dick may have him for a moment, or even an entire night, but he didn't have him constantly, all the time, like Artemis did. She was able to come home to his smiling face and wake up next to it in the mornings. Dick was lucky if he ever woke up next to Wally. The times he was fortunate enough to wake up to the older man drooling were after long, hard nights after even longer and harder missions. Ones that really stressed Dick out. Wally _had_ always known how to calm and unwind Dick after an exhausting day.

But Artemis was able to come home to that every day. She was able to kiss Wally anytime she wanted, she was able to hold his hand and kiss the spot at the nape of his neck (did she know about that spot?) to calm the red head, whenever she wanted. Dick was thankful he could even see his best friend, much less have sex with him.

He was lucky that Wally even let it go on, he was lucky that Wally was concerned with comforting him so much. That was all it was. They were just friends, one comforting the other. Nothing more, no matter how often Dick's thoughts would drift. No matter how much the hunger inside Dick would burn. How badly it would scorn him.

* * *

It was nearly seven months since they started their fling, and five since Artemis had been gone. It had gone on longer than Dick ever thought it would. It was only supposed to be that one kiss on the rooftop seven months ago and that's it. It wasn't supposed to develop into something more. It wasn't supposed to escalate into something so complicated, so delicate.

Dick was in the process of putting his police uniform back on when Wally finally said something after the nights events.

"Dick."

"Yeah?" the superhero responded as he finished buttoning his shirt. He didn't bother tucking it back in, it was going to be removed when he got home anyways.

"I think we should quit this." Wally was still naked, sitting in bed, which he did often whenever Dick would go home instead of staying the night. Dick tried not to think about the fact that Wally watched him redress on those nights, it seemed too intimate.

Dick stopped buckling his belt, and turned to look at Wally. He stared at him for a long moment. He knew this moment had to come, the moment where one of them called it off. He expected it to happen a lot sooner than it did, though, but it still came as a bit of a surprise. He did not let the emotion show on his face, however. He couldn't let Wally know that he was slightly upset that what they had would be ending. He needed to convince Wally that things were okay now, he didn't need comforting anymore. They didn't need to sneak around or cheat or betray. They could go back to the way things used to be. That's what he tried convincing Wally, anyways.

"I agree," he finally responded once he had collected his thoughts and composed his face. And he did agree. It had to be called off sooner or later. The top secret mission Artemis was on was going to be over soon and it's not like they could continue their fling forever. It would have to end and then they'd go back to their respective partners (in Dick's case, lack thereof) and continue on with their lives like it didn't happen. Because it wasn't supposed to happen. Ever. It was one large, drawn out mistake that was finally coming to an end. An end that should have happened a long time ago.

That was the last thing they said to each other before Dick leapt from the window onto the ground, soundlessly, like he did the first night they were together. His mind was blank as he made his way home over rooftops and through back alleys.

As soon as he stepped foot into his apartment he locked the door and made a beeline for the bed, where he faces planted into the pillows and covers. After a few minutes of trying his hardest to think of nothing he fell asleep.

Dick's dream was a cloud of green, red and freckles.

* * *

It had been two years since the last time Dick ever spoke to Wally. It had been two years since Wally ended what their mangled relationship had become. With Artemis home within the next couple of months and no more top secret missions they had no reason to talk. They drifted further apart than before.

One would say that their friendship was something that was just a far off memory, when everything was aster and there was no "dis". They were acquaintances now, if that. Dick couldn't even bring himself to stay friends with Wally. He knew if he tried to talking to him that the hunger he had hidden away would resurface and make things complicated and confusing again. If he didn't talk to Wally things would be okay. And they were.

Eventually Dick got fed up of thinking of Wally and the memories of him. He got fed up of remembering the nights they'd spend together, of what their friendship was like seven years ago, before aster gained a very heavy "dis". That's what their relationship had dwindled down to; a disaster. There was no other way to put it.

He got fed up of being upset about what happened between them. Some nights he found himself missing the sound of Wally's voice the most. He missed how Wally's laugh grew and rumbled from somewhere deep inside him, how deep and gruff his voice sounded one moment and then soft and comforting the next. He missed how much Wally could convey in an array of sentences or just one word. He had missed it so much he considered calling his old friend. He had even gotten far enough to where he had the first four digits programmed into his phone before he hastily clicked the back button and shoved it underneath his pillow.

They didn't speak anymore, not after one year, not after two years. Wally continued to live his life with Artemis and Brucely. He continued to go to Stanford and maintain good grades from what little Dick heard from Barry. Dick didn't hear much about his old friends. He couldn't bear to look at Artemis the same way after what he had done to her, whether she was aware of it or not. Wally could have told her for all Dick knew. A part of Dick thought that if she did know she would have ended it with the red head, or maybe she would have stayed. Because they simply loved each other like that.

Dick didn't like to think about Artemis that much. It made him sick to his stomach. It wasn't that he hated her—no, he couldn't hate her. She was strong, independent and someone worth looking up to and aspiring to be in his books. He merely envied her, or rather, what she had that he didn't and would never be able to have.

And that just made him feel worse after what he had done behind her back. He didn't deserve to be her friend, so they talked less and less until eventually they said nothing at all.

The first couple of weeks Dick spent alone he thought of the day when Artemis would return home and how she and Wally would make their way back to the bedroom and celebrate being reunited at last. He thought about how lucky she was to have someone like Wally, how she got to see him, hold his hand, comfort and console and be there for him.

Dick couldn't even bring himself to say a simple formality to his old friend, and he hated that. He hated that he let Wally affect him so much, so negatively. He hated that Artemis had what he wanted, he hated that he stabbed her in the back and as much as he hated to admit it, because it's what really made him hate himself, he hated that it ended. Because he wanted Wally so much that every fiber in his being burned, aching, still, with that desperate hunger inside him.


	4. Sloth

As days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months Wally grew anxious. He knew from the beginning that whatever he had with Dick would have to end one way or another but things were starting to get heavier. They started going more than just once per night, Dick started staying over more often, and once, Wally even cooked him breakfast.

That's how he knew things were getting bad. Wally was getting too attached. As much of a nice allusion it was, thinking that he could actually be with Dick, he knew it couldn't happen. He was getting dangerously close to a line that he did not want to cross, _couldn't_ cross.

But even still Wally tucked the thought to the back of his mind and didn't say a word. He let things escalate as the months etched on. He knew he should have ended it after the first time Dick spent the night over at his place but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't have Dick for just a moment; he had him for a night. And if anything that made the hole inside him overflow with the feeling of contentedness. After that, the ache inside of Wally didn't come back in the morning and take Dick's place like usual. For once he was at peace, if only for a day.

* * *

Wally had begun to think about Artemis more and more, and every time he did he felt guilty for what he was doing to her and how she had no idea it was going on. She was risking her life by living with the enemy, basically living a lie, and there he was; staying at home and occasionally falling in love with having sex with their best friend.

He had no intentions of ever hurting her, it was the last thing he had wanted to do, but he knew that even that one simple kiss on that rooftop months ago would have hurt her. And what it had escalated into? He didn't want to think about it, it hurt him to think about it, so he had to end it.

Even if it hurt him to end the relationship he had with Dick he knew it had to happen. He needed to get back to his normal life. Artemis was going to come home and they were going to be together again. Eventually Wally would forget about the nights he'd spent with Dick and he'd fall back in love with Artemis. That's what was going to happen.

Actually calling the whole thing off with Dick, however, proved to be one of the hardest things Wally had ever done, and he's fought villains. Even super villains. Recently it had been all he thought about when he was with Dick; how badly it needed to end and how much he didn't want it to. But Wally convinced himself everything was going to be okay. They'd end it, forget about it, and move on. Life would continue to go on and they'd be fine.

* * *

"Dick," Wally had finally managed to build up the courage to say his name. He had been watching Dick redress himself for the past five minutes, trying to convince himself to say it. He was captivated by Dick's body. He always lavished it with attention during their nightly activities but it wasn't until Dick was slipping back into his underwear or trying to get his shirt back on when Wally was able to fully appreciate it. He spotted a purpling hickey at the small of Dick's back. It was nothing compared to the new, nearly dark blue, ones that littered his shoulders and neck. Wally could even spot a few old ones fading into yellow, almost completely invisible. Wally wondered if anyone said anything about the hickeys, or if they had noticed them at all. (Did his Nightwing uniform cover them? Wally didn't know, he never saw Dick during the day, when he was in uniform.)Dick still had his back turned to Wally as he responded, "Yeah?"

Wally was brought back from his thoughts by the sound of Dick's voice. He needed to go ahead and get it over with. This couldn't last.

"I think we should quit this." Wally's voice was flat, toneless. Dick finally turned to look at the red head. His face held as much emotion, if less, than Wally's tone had. He stared at Wally and Wally couldn't help but stare back at him. Back into the blue eyes that would so often be shut, half-lidded, or clouded with lust during the night. Now, they were clear, and boring into him. Wally swallowed a lump that had risen in his throat.

"I agree," Dick finally said. A part of Wally was relieved. This whole thing would be over. Everything could go back to normal. He didn't have to wake up in the morning feeling guilty. He wouldn't be cheating on Artemis anymore, although he knew he'd still feel bad for doing it in the first place.

If Wally knew that was the last time he saw Dick he never would have ended it.

* * *

That night Wally had trouble falling asleep; he had grown used to the feeling of a warm body in bed next to him. He had grown used to the sound of even breathing and the faint sound of a heartbeat. Now the bed was cold and the night was so silent it was deafening.

Wally laid awake in bed until the sun peeked over the horizon and casted the morning light in his room through the blinds.

It was a slow day. It was a normal day. He went to his classes, played with Brucely a bit when he got home and had dinner all by himself. He left the TV on at all times while he was home. The quiet was too loud for him. It made him think of things he didn't want to think about. It made him remember all the things Dick would say, or sometimes scream, during the night. It made him think of those rare nights when both he and Dick wouldn't be able to fall asleep so they'd stay up and talk about nothing in particular; Dick's job as a cop, the classes Wally was taking at Stanford, and how Wally and Artemis happened to adopt Brucely. The morning after the first night they talked into the late hours of the night was the morning Wally had cooked breakfast for Dick and realized he was in too deep.

Wally was reading a book for his Vietnamese Lit class, with Brucely's head on his lap, when he heard a noise from outside the window. He instantly looked up, expecting it to be Dick climbing after a long day at work. It wasn't Dick, Wally noted. It was a blue bird.

How ironic. Wally let out a chuckle but it got caught in his throat so it came out hoarse and strangled. Dick wouldn't be climbing through the window anymore.

* * *

Wally didn't know how he let time escape him. One moment it was the day after he called it quits with Dick and then three months later Artemis was on their doorstep. As soon as Wally opened the door her arms were around him, her face buried into his neck. Wally brushed a strand of blonde hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. He leaned down for a quick kiss which then turned into a hungry kiss that turned into a long afternoon of ignoring his assignments and staying in bed with her.

Artemis slept soundly wrapped up in Wally's arm. He couldn't blame her; she was finally home where she belonged. Finally away from people that could potentially harm her. But then again, Wally could harm her, too. He already had, without her knowing it. During their afternoon together his mind would drift to Dick and think of what he would do. He compared them; Dick and Artemis, and felt horrible for it. He had a great girl nestled into his side and his mind kept wandering off to Dick.

Wally had trouble staying asleep that night. His dream consisted of blonde hair and tan skin morphing into brown hair and crystal blue eyes and that seemed imprint themselves onto the back of Wally's eyelids. Every time he closed his eyes he would see those clear eyes that he had stared into those months ago.

Time started to slip by him again and eventually Wally found himself going back to his old routine he had with Artemis before anything had happened between him and Dick. A time or two he'd catch himself thinking about the man he had become distant with and would feel a pang inside his chest but then he's give Artemis a cheesy smile and sloppy kiss and everything would feel okay again.

Wally thought less and less about Dick whenever he and Artemis had sex. He focused more on the feeling and, although he'd hate to admit it, less on the person who he was having it with. In this case, Artemis.

As far as Wally could tell Artemis had no idea or clue as to what happened while she was gone. She was ignorant to it and at first Wally was thankful for it but as time went on he kept thinking that she deserved to know. She needed to know.

But he couldn't bring himself to tell her. She didn't deserve to be hurt, and Wally certainly didn't deserve her. She had stuck with him after five years, each year he had forgotten Valentine's Day, except the most recent one, and he had only remembered because Dick told him what day it was. Artemis had stuck with him despite the arguments and fights they would get into when they would fling hurtful words and insults at one another. There wasn't one room in their house that they hadn't fought in.

Things were different since Artemis had returned. They didn't fight as often as they used to. Maybe it was because of all the time they spent apart or maybe it was because Wally felt like he couldn't argue with her anymore after he had betrayed her trust, after he had done the thing that would likely hurt her the most. He didn't want to hurt her anymore despite that she had no idea of what Wally and Dick had done. Wally wouldn't bother putting up a fight whenever they had opposing views, it just wasn't worth it.

Wally didn't think about Dick as much as he used to since Artemis returned. He thought about the hero and less and less until eventually he would go days on ends without even thinking his name. It was the little things that made him remember him, though. Like the way Artemis would lean down and scratch behind Brucely ears, just like Dick would do every time he came over, as soon as he was inside. Artemis eventually found the sensitive spot at the nape of Wally's neck, which only made him think of the first time Dick had ever kissed there. Sometimes, on rare occasions, when he would look at Artemis, or she'd say something in that mocking tone of hers he couldn't help but be reminded of the Dick Grayson that he had grown up with and become best friends with. That's when he would suddenly be overwhelmed with the aching feeling in his chest.

It had become foreign to him since he ended things with Dick and Artemis returned. He had assumed Artemis had managed to fill the void permanently but he was wrong, oh so wrong. Any time he'd think of Dick there would be a small pang in chest and the only way to stop it was to push his ex-lover from his mind. The days when he remembered the petite boy he had grown up with were the days that the aching inside his chest hurt the most, and were the days that were hardest to keep Dick off his mind.

* * *

Soon Artemis and Wally's six year anniversary snuck up on them. Wally made sure he had enough money to pay for the entire dinner this time. Afterwards they went and saw a movie of Artemis' choosing. It was an action movie with plenty of explosions and one liners.

Wally slipped his hand into Artemis' as they walked the streets back to their home. It was nice, it was simple. It was something he was never able to do with Dick. It felt nice, going on a date, having a hand to hold, even if it did feel a little too small in his and it didn't have the same rough, calloused texture that he had gotten used to when Artemis was gone.

They stayed up late that night in a mess of sheets and sweet and whispered sweet nothings. Sunlight peeked through their window as they both finally drifted off, letting slumber take him. Wally was glad that the next day—or rather that day, since the sun was already rising—was a Saturday. He needed a day to recharge after the long night he had.

For the first time in months Wally had dreamed of blue eyes. He remembered them so clearly, even after a year.


	5. Wrath

Wally was furious. Every time he shut his eyes he would see large blue ones staring at him. Every time he blinked he saw those deep blue eyes as if they were imprinted on the back of his eyelids. He lost sleep, each day the bags underneath his eyes got a little bit darker. Wally spent his sleepless nights finishing up papers, going over homework and cramming for whatever upcoming test he had. It was his last year of college anyways, the extra hours of doing work would help in the long run. He hoped.

Whenever he had managed to catch a couple hours of sleep Wally would dream of fighting off bad guys, catching bank robbers and crooks in his yellow and red uniform. They were more like memories in the form of a dream rather than an actual dream. Sometimes others would make an appearance in his dreams—Barry, the Team, Dick. Dick showed up often, cackling and smirking as he flipped and cartwheeled. Wally swore he could still hear Dick laughing when he awoke, as if the boy had been beside him as he slept, laughing at something Wally wasn't aware of.

Artemis noticed Wally's change in sleeping habits. She'd often find him passed out on the couch or kitchen table, drooling out the side of his mouth with papers stuck to the side of his face. She grew concerned but didn't voice a word. She'd shake his shoulder, waking him up, and fix him a cup of coffee. Wally would accept it with a small smile which she would return with a peck to the cheek. Wally didn't really care for the affections anymore, he had other things to worry about, like the final that was coming up that he felt like he didn't study enough for despite having read and reread the notes for nearly four hours the previous night, when, yet again, he couldn't fall asleep.

Graduation kept creeping upon them both and before they knew it was finals week.

It was the most hectic week of Wally's life filled with late night cram sessions with Artemis. Not much was said during that week, they both had been drained and exhausted from all the testing. They spent their free hours preparing for the next final until there were none left to prepare for.

Wally melted into a pile of goo on the couch once he had returned home from his last final. Now all he had to worry about was if he actually passed. Until then he had months worth of sleep to catch up on and nearly half a season of his favorite TV show. Except the moment his back hit the cushions his eyes were shut and he was staring into blue eyes once again. There was nothing left to distract him from what his mind had really wanted to thought about. He had moved on. He wasn't supposed to think about Dick anymore.

Artemis, on the other hand, was concerned about how their living quarters looked and promptly gave Wally a reason to distract himself from thinking of Dick. Their home looked as if a tornado had came through, there were papers everywhere (on the counter, on the table, scattered across the bed and nightstand) and empty fast food bags and Chinese take out boxes littered the coffee table and kitchen counter. The whole place was a giant mess; clothes covered the couch, chairs, were shoved under the bed and dresser. Artemis even found one of Wally's shirt hanging off the side of a trashcan, having been haphazardly thrown into the room as he was undressing.

Artemis was in full on cleaning mode after her last final.

There were black trash bags throughout the house, each bag for a different item. One for take out boxes, another for any miscellaneous trash, and a small box for all the papers and binders they had littered around the house. Once the noticeable mess had been dealt with Artemis had went on to do normal house cleaning. With Wally's help, per her demand of course. He didn't bother complaining, he was willing to do anything that got his mind off Dick.

Wally was on bathroom duty when he heard his name being called from the bedroom. He set down the toilet brush, took off the rubber yellow gloves and stepped out into their bedroom.

"Yeah Arty?" She was kneeling next to their dresser with something black in her hands

"Whose are these?" She held up the item for Wally to see. His face instantly turned white. His girlfriend was currently holding up a pair of black boxer briefs with the Nightwing insignia on the backside, accompanied by a couple of white stains. Wally remembered seeing them before, over a year ago. He had scoffed and rolled his eyes when he tugged Dick's pants down and was met with the underwear. Dick had smirked and laughed at him. Wally remembered that the small actions had reminded him of the younger Dick he used to know.

"Where did you find those?" Wally asked, dodging her question with one of his own.

"They were shoved underneath the dresser," She stood and Wally was aware of how hot he suddenly felt. The underwear had reminded him of that one night, of how he was too eager to wait and came on Dick and how the younger male tossed the stained underwear some where on the floor. They must have landed near the dresser and some how got pushed underneath since they had not made a reappearance until that moment. Dick had to borrow a pair of Wally's underwear the next day since, obviously, he could not find his own.

"Wally, answer me." He snapped back into reality and panicked. What was he supposed to say? Artemis knew he didn't own a pair of Nightwing underwear, much less briefs. Wally had briefs, he had always preferred boxers and that was all that he wore. Even if he claimed them as his own it wouldn't explain the stains on the back. He couldn't exactly come on his own ass.

Wally was at a loss for words. He tried thinking of any excuse that would seem believable but the longer he waited to answer the more Artemis' expression turned from puzzled to accusing. He needed to answer and he needed to answer soon but the only thing coming to his mind at that moment were countless nights spent with Dick. It'd be stupid to tell her. Completely stupid and idiotic. She'd leave him and then what would Wally be left with?

But what was he supposed to say? Everything that had happened within the last year and a half came spiraling down around him, falling to his feet.

"They're Dick's," he blurted out. Artemis' eyebrow shot up so fast Wally wondered if she had some how gained superspeed.

"Dick's?" Wally gave her a small nod, never taking his eyes off her face, which then hardened.

"What are Dick's underwear doing under our dresser?" Her tone was firm and even though she was asking him a question it sounded as if she already knew the answer. Wally didn't answer, couldn't answer. There was nothing he could say. Artemis was smart, clever. She could put two and two together as fast as he could. She didn't need things to be laid out in front of her to know what they were and what was going on. Or had gone on.

* * *

The day faded into night time with the sound of one person shouting abuse at another one, who said nothing and took it all in.. The truth was bound to come out some time, much to Wally's disdain. He didn't blame Artemis for yelling at him, for insulting him. He deserved it after all. He had treated her so poorly, had stomped all over their relationship. He apologized to her and meant it with every fiber of his being. No matter how much he meant his apologies he could never regret those nights.

Artemis was beyond furious, Wally still didn't blame her. He took everything she said to him with a stern face and calm demeanor. Everything she said was right. He was a pig and he was disgusting. But the less and less Wally said and the more he let her shout abuse at him the more frustrated she got. She stopped mid-sentence and simply stared at him. Yelling at him was no use, what was done was simply that; done. It had happened and yelling at him could change nothing.

Wally crossed the room and took her in his arms. He buried his face into her shoulder and whispered the same two words over and over, "I'm sorry."

They ended it that night.

* * *

It had been a mutual agreement. They both knew that after the truth had come to light that they could no longer be together like before. Wally stayed at Barry's for the next couple weeks and let Artemis stay in the house in Palo Alto until they would be able to sell it. Afterward Artemis would go to live with her sister until she could find some where permanent to stay.

Wally told Barry they had broken up simply because they had fallen out of love with each other, which wasn't too far from the truth if Wally was completely honest. His heart belonged to some one else for almost two years, and if he thought about it, more than that. He realized he had loved Dick before they ever had their fling, before they had become distanced from each other for five years. He didn't realize it then, but he did. Now it was too late.

He often thought about Dick whenever he wasn't playing with his cousins or working in the lab. He thought about his laugh, his smirk, his mocking tone and playful words. He thought about his eyes and how he moved gracefully on the battlefield. He thought about the nights they stayed up and played video games, or how Dick would get Alfred to bake his favorite cookies whenever Wally spent the night. He thought about the times they would build a fort and spend all day in it watching movies until duty called and they had to go fight crime in the city.

Dick consumed his thoughts, day and night. He ached to be able to see Dick again, to be his _best friend_ again. The want burned in his body until it was all his heart pumped into his veins. Dick _was_ the blood in his veins. Wally blamed himself for letting them drift apart, he could have prevented it but he didn't. He stood by the sidelines and let it happen because there was no chance Dick could ever want him the way Wally wanted Dick. It wouldn't work, couldn't work. Everything had been said and done, their friendship had fallen apart and now there was nothing left of it but a mangled mess. No amount of want and aching inside him could fix that.

Everything Artemis had said about him those months ago had been right. He was a pig and he was a disgusting and he didn't deserve anyone. Especially not Dick. He could never deserve Dick, who was kind enough to let Wally use him. Dick who was teasing and mocking but understanding and patient. He was strong and aspiring, the kind of person you wanted to be when you were little. In Wally's eyes Dick was the greatest man he ever met, flaws and everything.

* * *

Wally spent his days working with Barry in his lab and spent his nights in the couple's guestroom. He would babysit his two cousins from time to time and let Barry and Iris go out on a date. He enjoyed spending time with the little munchkins, life was so simple for them. The most complicated thing for them was figuring out which shape went into which hole on their plastic toy. They would brighten Wally's day in an instant with their chubby cheeks and bright smiles.

Sometimes Wally would watch as his uncle would run by in a blur in his red uniform, off to go on patrol or save a citizen as he sat on the couch, cousins on both side, as he read them a story. Living with Barry and Iris reminded Wally of how much he had loved being a hero, he started missing it. He started missing running. He missed everything about his old job. The danger, the risk, the run of adrenaline, the feeling of being free and being a hero. He ached for it again, much like how he ached for Dick again.


	6. Pride

The last thing Dick expected to see when he stepped into the cave was a mess of red hair with tan skin that was littered with freckles. Wally's eyes flickered to look at him before quickly looking back at Batman and Barry. The sound of their voices carried over to Dick but he didn't register any of the words they said. He looked Wally up and down from behind his mask, sizing him up and observing how much he had changed in the past couple of years.

Dick would have thought that Wally had stopped growing, especially since he was now twenty three, but he didn't. He was a couple inches taller, his shoulders were broader, his jaw line more defined. He hadn't loss any muscle mass, despite being out of the hero gig for three years. He must have worked out, Dick concluded, but he wasn't sure. If he had been thinking of the Wally he knew seven years ago then he could list off every little detail about Wally. Now he couldn't even tell you the basics. Dick wondered if Wally had less freckles, too. He distinctly remembered being upset over the fading of Wally's freckles as he transitioned from awkward teenager to young adult.

Dick nodded to Bruce and Barry as he passed and then continued on towards the kitchen, ignoring Wally completely. He didn't bother to ask why he was there, didn't want to know. Wally was the last person he wanted to see. Just those flicker of eyes that gazed into his for a mere second brought back memories he had pushed to the back of his mind, memories he never wanted to think about again. And with them came feelings that were never properly dealt with.

The next day when Dick stepped into the cave he was met by Batman and a tall, green eyed man in a red, yellow, and white uniform.

"Nightwing," Bruce greeted him, "Meet Bolt."

Dick was not whelmed. Not whelmed at all. It was one thing to have Wally rejoin the team, but it was another for him to move into the cave. Even if it was until he could "stand on his own two feet". Living with Artemis for four years and then suddenly ending it made it difficult to find a place of his own, apparently.

* * *

Dick was less than excited for Wally to rejoining the team. In fact, he was pretty 'cited. It was great to have new recruits on the team, they could always use the power and strength, but Wally was the last person Dick had expected to join the team. He figured Alfred would join before Wally would ever even consider putting the uniform on for good. He had made such a fuss and put up a fight whenever Dick brought up the idea of re-joining. Of course that was two years ago and Dick knew better than anyone that things change with time.

Wally often times went along on missions with the newbies, tagging along with whichever squad had the hardest job. Other times he went on a mission for back up and support. If things turned bad, he was there. Dick stayed behind, like usual, and monitored everything from the cave, he trained the new team and conducted the briefings. He kept himself busy with investigating any case they had and if he didn't have to be at the cave, he wasn't. Free time was spent either training, at his day job, or doing anything that would distract him.

He wouldn't allow himself to think about Wally. Even one small thought or memory would have him in the training room until his muscles screamed and his joints ached. If he thought about Wally then he couldn't stop, and if he couldn't stop then he thought of how he secretly wished they could still be together. Dick refused to let himself think that. He wasn't going to go crawling back to Wally, he had too much pride to do that.

He had too much pride to letting Wally give himself up to let Dick use him. He had too much pride to let Wally know he still hadn't gotten over it. He had to convince Wally had had moved on and had no remaining feelings for him. He tried convincing himself, too.

* * *

It wasn't supposed to turn into a disaster. They could have handled it, _should_ have handled it. It wasn't even that difficult of a mission, but the thugs turned out to have knives and of course guns, whose bullets would have fatally wounded Dick had Wally not saved him in time. They returned to the mountain out of breathe, uniforms torn, with minor scratches on any exposed skin, and even a deep gash or two. No bullet wounds, thankfully.

Dick knew he should have listened to Wally, he should have swallowed his bitterness and done as Wally had instructed. But he didn't. He was bitter and angry and ignored Wally out of spite. It was out of his character and stupid but he had so many pent up feelings that he needed to let them out. Ignoring Wally would have helped had he not put himself in danger and thus forced Wally to swoop in and save him like some damsel in distress.

That only made Dick more bitter and angry and all he wanted to do was to take a hot shower, to let the scolding hot water wash away all his anger, for the steam to lift the frustration from his shoulders. He wanted to silence the screaming ache inside his chest with a long, hot, relaxing shower. He didn't want to think or see or hear Wally. He wanted to get away from the man who had let Dick use him, ended it on a whim, plagued his mind for two years and then showed up out of the blue, expecting everything to be fine and dandy.

"I've been doing this longer than you have, I can take care of myself." Dick knew how childish he sounded once the words had left his mouth. For a brief moment he remembered some time ago when he said the same exact words to Wally for the first time. He pushed the memory from his mind. That was a long time ago. He needed to stop living in the past and get over the feelings that had began devloping those years ago.

"You almost died!" Wally exclaimed angrily as if Dick didn't already know that he had just been through a near death situation. He risked his life every time he stepped out onto the field. This one incident was nothing new.

"But I didn't," Dick grumbled over his shoulder. He walked past the kitchen and living room, Wally hot on his heels. If anyone saw them or heard them Dick didn't know, he wasn't paying attention to any one else. He was just trying to get to the zeta tube so he could get away from Wally. Get away from the nagging and the voice he hated so damn much because it brought back all the feelings and memories and thought he had tried to forget for two years.

"You still act like you're thirteen years old," Wally groaned. Dick could hear the frustration rolling off his tongue.

Dick abruptly turned to face Wally. Had Wally not been a speedster he would have bumped into Dick, but he was quick with his reflexes and stopped in his tracks, face inches away from Dick's.

"Why do you care?" Dick growled, glaring at green eyes through his mask.

"Because I'm your best friend." It was automatic, the words spilled out as soon as Dick had muttered his last syllable. Dick wondered how Wally could even think they were friends after the things they had gone through.

"Then where have you been the past two years?" Dick turned on his heels and stalked off towards the zeta tubes. He didn't hear any footsteps chase after him.

* * *

"Nightwing?" The hero turned to see his green Martian friend standing behind him. She approached him until they were standing next to each other.

"What's going on between you and Wally?" Of course she'd ask about that. For two months he and Wally refused to say a word to each other. If one entered a room, the other would leave it. It was clear as day that they were avoiding each other. Everytime Dick looked at Wally, or merely even thought of his name, he'd become overwhelmed with a range of emotions ranging from anger to regret to longing. It didn't help that he still felt that dull, aching hunger inside his chest. After two years it was still there.

It wasn't fair that Wally was fine, no confusing and unwanted emotions to plague him and day and night. He let Dick use him and then threw Dick away. The way Wally tossed Dick out so easily made him want to punch Wally's freckled face when he saw him. He couldn't just waltz in and make Dick fall in love with him, again, just to toss him out onto the street like yesterdays trash.

He wanted nothing to do with Wally. He wanted to forget the years they spent apart, he wanted to forget the nights they spent together, he wanted to forget the years when they were the closest friends ever. Dick Grayson wanted to forget Wally West completely. Maybe then he could find some peace of mind and peace of heart. Maybe then he wouldn't be overwhelmed with so many emotions he could barely hear himself think. But what was the point? He always thought about one thing constantly and one thing only. Or should he say person.

"You two used to be such good friends," M'gann said after Dick hadn't answered her. He turned back to the holocomp and proceeded to check the files of an upcoming mission they had.

"'Used' being the key word," Dick mumbled.

"What happened between you two?" Something in her tone, in the way that she asked the question so softly with so much concern made Dick turn his attention back to her. He sighed, giving in.

* * *

Dick told M'gann everything. He told her about that first night on the rooftop to the night when Wally ended their fling. He told her the unrequited feelings he had developed when he was a young teenager and how they still remained with him to that day. He broke down and told her everything, how frustrated he was and how he regretted ever kissing Wally because it only made things worse. If he had not had a taste of what he could have had then he wouldn't want it so badly. He would have gotten over it and moved on. But he had a taste and kept going back to it for more. Those nights Wally was his and that's all he had wanted.

M'gann didn't say a word until Dick had finally finished saying everything that had built up inside him. It was as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He felt better, he felt less frustrated. The only thing that remained in him was the hungry ache, but he had gotten so used to it's presence, and it had been buried underneath a moment of emotion he hadn't realized exactly how long it had been there, or how badly it ached once he had let all his feelings and thoughts out. It physically pained him.

"You should tell him," M'gann finally said. Dick raised his eyebrow, "M'gann I don't think that's a good idea." He shook his head.

"Why not?" She asked as if it was no big deal. Of course it was a big deal, a huge deal. He couldn't tell Wally how he felt because he knew that the red head didn't feel the same.

"Because," Dick sighed, "I know him. I know that he doesn't feel the same. I can't go crawling back just to be rejected."

It was M'gann's turn to raise an eyebrow, "You don't know him like you used to, things have changed now. You don't know what he feels." She had a point. But then again he hadn't said a word to Wally in over two years. It was highly unlikely that he still had feelings for Dick, if he even felt anything for him in the first place. However, Dick's feelings had stayed, and even gotten stronger, over the course of seven years.

"Go tell him," She said firmly, "If he doesn't feel the same then it's closure and you can move on." Maybe she was right. Maybe he would finally be able to move on. Maybe he could finally be able to get rid of the ache inside his chest. He excused himself, saying a small goodbye and thanks to the Martian. He had to lay down his pride and let Wally know exactly all that he had put Dick through.


	7. Lust

Wally knew he was going to see Dick at the cave, it was inevitable. The chance of him not being there was very slim. He heard the computer announce Nightwing's arrival and his stomach suddenly learned gymnastics; flipping and twisting, making Wally nauseous. As soon as he glanced over to the zeta tubes he wished he hadn't. The years had been good to Dick, _really_ good.

He only let his eyes linger for a second before turning his gaze back to Batman. They were discussing business, and technicalities. He was going to come up with an alias for himself, since he wasn't a Kid anymore and Barry was still very much the Flash. It'd be nice to have a name of his own. He wasn't going to be Flash's protege, he wasn't going to be _one_ of the Flashes. He was going to be his own hero. His own persona. He already had an idea for a new name.

Wally was so excited he nearly vibrated thinking about it. He couldn't wait to be back out on the field, saving lives and doing what he loved most; running. He had spent the past couple months training, building back muscle and working on basic gymnastics and fighting. He trained with Barry and on some nights they'd race. Of course he always lost, especially since he hadn't ran with super-speed in years, but it was nice all the same. It brought back memories that didn't pain Wally.

Wally saw Dick again the next day and this time the flips and twists in his stomach were more intense. He kept his face neutral, no smiling, no scowling. Dick had his poker face up as well. Wally couldn't see any emotion on it. He tried not to think that he had been able to read Dick and see right through him years ago. Today was going to be a good day, he was joining the team again.

Batman was the only one who spoke. He introduced Wally as his new alias; Bolt. Wally would forever deny that he got the idea from a movie about a dog.

* * *

To say that working with Dick again was awkward would be an understatement. The only time they would speak to each other would be about official matters and anything concerning a mission. Other than that Wally loved being back on the team. Sure, some of the rookies could definitely use some improvement and a few got on his nerves, but he was back to doing what he loved best. What else could he want? Besides Dick, that is. He'd deny he wanted Dick back to the day he died. It was over, in the past. Everyone has to get over it and move on.

Wally was just still in the process, as much as he hated to admit it. (But he didn't. Not to anyone, and hardly even to himself.)

And maybe joining the team again wouldn't help him get over Dick, but for once after months and months of feeling unfulfilled and empty he finally felt better. He felt happier. Because he was running again and he was protecting and saving people, he was doing good. At the end of the day whenever he'd take of the uniform and slip into his civilian clothes he'd feel naked. He liked working in a lab, don't get him wrong, but he belonged in that uniform. It was his life line.

And maybe he tortured himself by joining the team again because he was forced to see Dick again. He still had the hole in his chest—much to his chagrin, it was still as empty and deep as ever. Perhaps even more so. It was all Dick's fault it was there. Or maybe it was his own fault. He had been the one to instigate everything and he was the one who had called it off. He could have ended it a lot sooner than it did and saved them both the trouble. He didn't know why Dick even went along with it. Wally knew for a fact that Dick could have anyone he wanted. He was attractive, _very_ attractive, and he was the best and most aspiring person he had ever met. Why Dick stayed with him and continued to visit night after night, he had no clue.

Maybe Dick thought that since Artemis would be leaving for the mission soon, and eventually did leave, that he needed some one to hold onto during those (not so) lonely nights. That's what best friends do, right? They are there for each other, no matter what.

But they weren't best friends anymore. Couldn't be. Wally realized he could never be friends with Dick again, he loved him far too much. He was far too greedy to be friends with Dick. If they were friends again he'd want to be best friends, before seven years had torn them apart, and then he'd want more. He'd want Dick to love him, too.

* * *

Wally knew it wouldn't be a good idea to go on a mission with Dick but it was required so he didn't fuss. He had to make it seem like things were normal, that he still wasn't hung up after two years. So he smiled and played along, stoked for the mission. It was the (majority) of the old team and a few rookies going up against some thugs in a huge drugs bust as well as some weapons being smuggled in from South America

But within a second everything had gone to hell. Their position had been exposed and the thugs were unloading bullets up into the rafters, shooting at anything that seemed like it might be in a tight spandex suit (or in Superboy's case, cargo pants). Leave it to them to think that the place hadn't been booby-trapped. They weren't dealing with any amateurs.

He had told Dick to go with M'gann back to the bio ship and that he and Superboy would stay behind and fight off any thugs while they tried to escape. But Dick hadn't listened. He stayed with Wally and the redhead shouted at him and Dick shouted right back. They were so caught up in their spat that Dick didn't see the gun aimed at him.

But Wally did.

* * *

They argued the entire trip back to the mountain. They spouted abuse and insults, "I didn't need your help," and "Well obviously you've lost your touch". It was torture, and awkward, for the rest of the bioship occupants. M'gaan had asked the two to stop their arguing, it was distracting. Dick muttered and apology and Wally did _not _pout.

They were at each others throats again as soon as they stopped off the ship. Wally followed Dick as he walked from room to room. Wally spat vicious words at Dick's back who tossed bitter remarks over his shoulder in return. How could Dick be so childish? He almost gotten himself killed out there and he was acting like it was nothing. He was yelling at Wally for saving him.

Wally was frustrated. He was only trying to look out for Dick wouldn't give it up. Why would Dick even be angry that Wally had saved him? He should be thankful. He could be in the medical bay instead of stomping his way to the Cave's entrance. Dick had never acted that way when they were younger. Sure he might pout and say he could defend himself but at the end of the day he always thanked Wally.

Suddenly Dick had turned. Wally couldn't help but think of all the other times their faces had been this close to each other. His stomach twisted into a knot, reminding him that those days were over and there was no turning back.

"Why do you care?" The question came as a shock to Wally. Why did he care? Of course he cared. Dick still had a special place inside his heart. Wally would always look out for him, would always care about him. They were best friends after all.

"Because I'm your best friend," he said automatically. Really, was Dick so dense that he had asked that question?

"Then where have you been the past two years?" That question came as a bigger shocker than the first one. Wally watched as Dick turned, heading for the zeta tubes. He didn't budge. Didn't move even a centimeter. He let Dick go.

* * *

Wally knew that he and Dick were no longer best friends. He knew they weren't even friends. He blamed himself for it; if he hadn't of kissed Dick on top of hat rooftop nearly three years ago then they wouldn't be in this mess. He'd still have his best friend.

A part of Wally regretted everything they had done, and another part of him didn't. If they hadn't of kissed, hadn't of slept together, then they'd still be friends. Wally knew that if he hadn't of fallen in love with Dick then he knew they'd still be friends.

But Wally knew that had he not had a taste of what they could have been then he never would have realized that he had loved Dick for years, and it didn't ruin things back then. There was no moment when he had suddenly fallen in love with Dick. It was gradual. It built up slowly, every little thing causing Wally to love him.

Back then Wally had only thought that's how you were supposed to feel about a best friend. He didn't know it was love. How was he supposed to? He had never loved anyone before. You learn what love is by loving, he knew that now.

It was too late. Dick had grown to hate him, preventing any chance of them becoming friends again. And it was all his fault. Everything was his fault, he knew that now. He hated that Dick hated him but there was nothing he could do, nothing he could say. Words couldn't change anything now.

Nothing Wally could say would make Dick hate him any less, he knew that. So Wally made a silent promise to himself not to say anything to Dick. Wally wouldn't tell him how merely thinking of him make his stomach do flips, Wally wouldn't tell him that he made Wally's heart race the fastest it ever has, Wally wouldn't tell him that whenever he woke up next to Artemis he always wished it was Dick.

And Wally would never tell Dick how much he meant to him. Wally locked all those unsaid things away and didn't say a single word to Dick. Wally avoided him. If he was near Dick he thought of how much Dick must hate him, and he thought enough about as it was. Avoiding Dick helped him get through the day. It made things easier, but it also made them harder. He knew he wouldn't get over Dick but he accepted that. He knew some people come into your life and stay there, even after they've been gone for a long time. Even when they won't come back at all.

* * *

Wally felt a drop of sweat roll down his face. He slowly let out a breathe of air. He'd spent almost all day training. Taking almost four years off from the hero gig didn't do much for his muscle, or his fighting. He had to train harder than everyone else and then some, every other day of the week. He trained hard, long into the night. He sparred without his powers with anyone that was willing. He was determined to get better.

He didn't expect Dick to step into the training room so late at night, however. He didn't even know Dick was still at the cave. Shows what he knew. Dick's internal clock was always weird from being a Bat Kid.

"Hey Wally, can we talk?" Dick asked as he approached the red head. Wally gave the punching bag a sharp kick. He didn't think there was anything for them to talk about, except maybe the fight they had gotten into a couple months ago, but Dick made a point of avoiding Wally and showing that he wanted nothing to do with him.

"Uh, sure," He answered, eyes focused on the punching bag. Wally watched Dick stop and stand a few feet away from him.

"I should have told you this a long time go," Dick started. Wally stopped abusing the punching bag to turn and look at the man in his civilian clothes. What was he going to tell him? That he hated him? Dick had already made that very apparent. There was nothing left to say. Wally noted the way Dick opened his mouth then closed it again, fighting for the right words to say.

"You don't have to say anything. I already know," Wally turned back to the punching bag.

"You do?" Did Dick's voice just go up a pitch?

"Yes, you don't have to explain anything. I get it." Left punch.

"Good, good," Dick said lowly. Wally expected him to leave but he didn't, just stood there and watched Wally.

"So..." Dick said, his tone implying that he was waiting for Wally to say something.

"'So...' what?" Right punch, left kick. In his peripherals Wally saw Dick's stance change to defensive.

"What do you have to say?" Dick's tone had changed.

"What is there to say?" Wally replied simply, kicking the object in front of him once more. And really, what was there left to say? Dick hated him and Wally knew it. Dick had never felt anything for Wally. He only slept with Wally because he thought that's what Wally needed; some one to be with while Artemis was gone. Some one to comfort him, in other words. And Dick comforted him because they were best friends, it didn't mean a single damn thing to him.

Wally put more force behind his next punch.

"I don't know," Dick said sarcastically, "Maybe what you think?"

"What I think?" Wally spun around to stare at Dick, "What does it matter what I think? It doesn't mean anything to you. Nothing meant anything to you."

Dick looked exasperated, "You don't understand," He groaned, "You're still as dense as you were seven years ago."

"Look whose talking," Dick spat. Some how they had stepped closer to each other. Personal space ceased to exist.

"You're still as much of an ass as you were back then." And there it was, all that Wally needed to know he hadn't been lying to himself; Dick really did hate him. He stared at Dick for a long moment, his gaze bored into the sunglasses that prevented him from seeing Dick's own blue eyes. The eyes he had missed so much. If only he could take them off and things would go back to normal.

But they couldn't. What's in the past is just that, in the past. He was aware of that. And he was very much aware of just how much Dick hated him.

"You know what Dick," Wally said voice shaken and rough, "You're right. I don't understand. I don't understand why you hate me so much, and I guess I never will understand unless you tell me."

Dick's expression changed from exasperation to frustration. He ran his hands over his face and Wally managed to hear the words he grumbled, "You're such an idiot."

Wally rolled his eyes. Dick had always called him an idiot, that was nothing new, and Wally liked to think that Dick was wrong. He had recreated Barry's experiment after all. He was no idiot. Except he honestly couldn't understand why Dick hated him so much. Dick never gave him any clues and all Wally had done was protect him during that one mission. And used Dick for comfort, in Dick's eyes at least.

"Wow Dick, that's so detailed. Thank you for telling me exactly why you-" He was cut off abruptly. By a pair of lips. A pair of plump lips that he remembered far too well. Wally's mind instantly went blank. Now he didn't understand anything at all anymore. He was beyond puzzled, beyond confused. Nothing made sense anymore. Dick's lips moved against his ever still ones. Dick's lips had paralyzed him.

Dick pulled away from lack of response.

"I don't... Why?" Was all that Wally could manage to say as he looked at Dick with bewilderment.

"You're such an idiot," Dick said again. Except this time it was softer, much more fonder. It didn't have any bitter and anger intertwined into it like it had minutes ago.

"But you—Then why—I don't...what?" Wally was still unable to formulate a proper sentence. Dick laughed and it filled Wally up with warmth. It was forced, it wasn't fake. It was real and it sounded just like it used to.

"I love you idiot," Dick managed to say as his laughter faded, his lips turned into a small frown. The thought ran through Wally's mind. He had been wrong, so, so wrong. But how could Dick love him? Why did Dick love him?

"That's what I was trying to tell you, but you're so dense and a big ass you wouldn't let me." Wally swallowed. Oops. He_ felt _like an idiot. A giant idiot. But on top of that he felt happy. He felt content. Dick didn't hate him, instead, he loved him. That's all Wally had asked for, what Wally had wanted most. And now it was true. The hole in his chest felt like it had been finally filled.. It felt like his entire being had been filled up. From head to toe Wally was relieved, happy. Wally felt like all his happiness and relief and joy was about to spill out of him.

He stared at Dick for a long time, absorbing the moment. He honestly couldn't believe it. Dick must have been playing a joke on him, he had to be. There was no way Dick could ever possibly love him. No chance in hell.

"Do you really mean it?" Wally blurted out without think. Even with his sunglasses on Dick looked offended by the question, "Of course I do."

Wally nodded, the relief taking the aching's pain, happiness taking the hole's place.

"Well... that's all I had to say." Dick turned to leave but Wally grabbed his arm and pulled him close in one swift motion. He buried his face into Dick's hair, breathing in the smell of his shampoo. It smelled like watermelons.

"I love you too brat," Wally whispered.

* * *

Wally realized he had never seen Dick's apartment, or even knew he had one, until Dick had mentioned heading to his place. The mountain had other occupants and Dick said he just wanted to be alone. With Wally.

It wasn't the best apartment ever, but at least it was better than Roy's. (Wally had babysat Lian with Artemis enough to know that Roy's place was not the safest environment for a toddler.) As soon as Dick had closed and locked the door behind them his lips were on Wally's. They some how managed to navigate their way to the bedroom, which was a feat in itself since all their attention was on each other.

Dick pushed Wally down onto his bed them climbed into his lap. Their lips reconnected instantly. Wally pulled Dick's lower lip into his mouth and sucked on it, gaining a soft moan from Dick, who parted his lips in doing so. Wally's tongue explored Dick's mouth. He wanted to taste of much of Dick as he possibly could, he wanted to commit the shape and taste of his mouth to memory, he wanted to be fluent in the way Dick would move his tongue or moan softly if Wally moved his own tongue in the right way.

A part of him was afraid he would wake up and it would all be over again. That Dick wouldn't be his, just like before. But he knew he was being foolish. Dick was his. Not for a moment, not for a night, but for as long as they wanted. Wally put all of his pent up feelings into his kiss, his hands drifting lower and lower.

* * *

Wally stared down at clear blue eyes underneath him. Dick's eyes weren't half lidded or clouded with lust like they had been the other time he and Wally would have sex. They were bright, wide open and staring up at Wally. It was more than just lust or acting out on unsaid feelings. They were finally able to say three simple words and act on it. They were finally able to admit it. Finally able to be together.

Dick smiled softly, running his hands down Wally's naked back. Wally smiled in return before leaning down to litter kisses and hickey's across Dick's face and neck.

* * *

The next morning Wally woke up with Dick's arms wrapped around him. It wasn't a dream, it was real, _very _real. And Dick was still there. There was no more need to sneak out a window or leave in the morning. They could stay in bed all day if they wanted.

Dick yawned, his eyes fluttering open.

"Good morning, idiot," he said, his voice sleep-heavy.

Wally smiled brightly at him leaning in for a kiss, "Good morning, brat."


End file.
